jareth grrl (00:42:28): you did?
SusieDerkins23 (00:42:30): Do you want to see it?
jareth grrl (00:42:36): yeah
jareth grrl (00:42:41): how did you know?
SusieDerkins23 (00:43:15): I just knew.
SusieDerkins23 (00:43:23): I don't know how I knew.
SusieDerkins23 (00:43:32): But I wrote about it.
SusieDerkins23 (00:43:33): hang on.
jareth grrl (00:43:33): *hug*
SusieDerkins23 (00:43:46): I love you man. I hope you realize you are not alone on this planet.
jareth grrl (00:43:53): i know
jareth grrl (00:43:55): actually
jareth grrl (00:43:59): having it made me realise that
jareth grrl (00:44:03): there were tons of girls there
jareth grrl (00:44:04): crying
jareth grrl (00:44:08): who didnt have anyone
jareth grrl (00:44:11): and hadnt told anyone
SusieDerkins23 (00:44:15): HOLD ON. LET ME GET YOU THE POEM>
jareth grrl (00:44:17): i felt lucky to have people that car
jareth grrl (00:44:19): *care
SusieDerkins23 (00:44:28): What to say to the children:
SusieDerkins23 (00:44:34): My world is so barren
SusieDerkins23 (00:44:37): my world my things
SusieDerkins23 (00:44:41): my unheaviest self
SusieDerkins23 (00:44:46): my unloaded womb
SusieDerkins23 (00:44:52): Loaded for conquest
SusieDerkins23 (00:44:58): my cleverest my closest
SusieDerkins23 (00:45:01): my amnesty rings
SusieDerkins23 (00:45:06): unalone uncompulsive
SusieDerkins23 (00:45:11): not fifty, not ten
SusieDerkins23 (00:45:16): nor headless northwestern
SusieDerkins23 (00:45:25): not scared for her comfort
SusieDerkins23 (00:45:32): nor blessings nor experts
SusieDerkins23 (00:45:36): I'm sorry my silly
SusieDerkins23 (00:45:40): my sorrow my captor
SusieDerkins23 (00:45:45): I've no holds barred
SusieDerkins23 (00:45:50): my darling, my sweet.
SusieDerkins23 (00:45:58): Ok. That's it.
jareth grrl (00:46:08): wow
jareth grrl (00:46:12): thats wonderful
jareth grrl (00:46:15): im so touched
jareth grrl (00:46:22): thank you for thinking of me
SusieDerkins23 (00:46:36): You're welcome.
SusieDerkins23 (00:46:42): I don't know how I knew.
SusieDerkins23 (00:46:47): I've been sad for the last two days.
jareth grrl (00:46:55): me too
jareth grrl (00:46:58): but today i feel
SusieDerkins23 (00:47:00): I have pulled back from people and I have been having nightmares for the last week.
jareth grrl (00:47:00): relieved
jareth grrl (00:47:02): and happy
SusieDerkins23 (00:47:14): That is wonderful.
jareth grrl (00:47:15): i wasnt happy to be pregnant
SusieDerkins23 (00:47:17): i'm so glad.
jareth grrl (00:47:20): it wasnt a happy feeling
jareth grrl (00:47:21): i felt weak
jareth grrl (00:47:26): and i was sick all the time
SusieDerkins23 (00:47:27): I imagine pregnancy can be terrifying.
jareth grrl (00:47:34): it just felt wrong
jareth grrl (00:47:38): like the wrong conditions
SusieDerkins23 (00:47:38): It really is the end all be all
jareth grrl (00:47:40): the wrong time
SusieDerkins23 (00:47:48): I'm so glad you know it.
SusieDerkins23 (00:47:52): That is wisdom.
jareth grrl (00:47:58): thank you :-)
jareth grrl (00:48:02): i expected to feel sad
SusieDerkins23 (00:48:03): You are welcome.
jareth grrl (00:48:07): and feel like im mourning
jareth grrl (00:48:10): but i dont
SusieDerkins23 (00:48:14): I understand.
jareth grrl (00:48:29): i cried when it actually happened tho, it was so weird
SusieDerkins23 (00:48:35): Did it hurt?
jareth grrl (00:48:35): they put me under conscious sedation
jareth grrl (00:48:37): kinda
jareth grrl (00:48:47): i was so drowsy and everything sounded muffled
jareth grrl (00:48:49): like a dream
jareth grrl (00:49:05): except this dream contained an indian man doing things to my hooha
SusieDerkins23 (00:49:12): Oh my.
SusieDerkins23 (00:49:20): I'm sorry?
jareth grrl (00:49:24): no its ok
jareth grrl (00:49:28): it was just weird
jareth grrl (00:49:30): i cried
jareth grrl (00:49:38): but as soon as it was done i stopped and i felt better
SusieDerkins23 (00:49:39): I wish I could be there to talk to you.
SusieDerkins23 (00:49:50): I would take your ass out and buy you a beer.
jareth grrl (00:49:56): lol
jareth grrl (00:49:59): that would be awesome
SusieDerkins23 (00:50:01): Some of the nastiest life celebration beer we could find.
jareth grrl (00:50:06): hahahaha
jareth grrl (00:50:13): the past few months ive felt so listless
jareth grrl (00:50:15): so aimless
SusieDerkins23 (00:50:18): Maybe even some wacked out Norweigans dancing or something.
jareth grrl (00:50:18): depressed
jareth grrl (00:50:24): and i feel better today than i have in months
SusieDerkins23 (00:50:34): I'm so glad.
SusieDerkins23 (00:51:06): Wendy. I don't know how I knew about you. I think it was a connection thing. I was worried.
SusieDerkins23 (00:51:17): When i saw what you put in livejournal I knew for certain.
jareth grrl (00:51:31): that was weird
jareth grrl (00:51:34): but good to know
SusieDerkins23 (00:51:45): It was. i didn't know what to do with the knowledge though.
jareth grrl (00:51:46): you do have that psychic thing
SusieDerkins23 (00:51:54): So i turned it inward.
SusieDerkins23 (00:52:04): It was weird.
jareth grrl (00:52:49): thank you :-)
jareth grrl (00:52:55): i should probably head to bed now
jareth grrl (00:53:02): ive had a pretty tiring few weeks
SusieDerkins23 (00:53:11): I hope you are well and I know that you probably are trying to shut shit off, but don't forget to let yourself have this. Give yourself some time to heal before you jump back into the world.
SusieDerkins23 (00:53:22): Love you. Take care.
jareth grrl (00:53:41): love you too
SusieDerkins23 (00:53:48): Goodnight :-)
jareth grrl (00:53:52): thank you. but really, not putting on a strong face or anything,
jareth grrl (00:53:56): im going to be just fine.
jareth grrl (00:54:05): 'night :-)
SusieDerkins23 (00:54:09): Good. I'm glad to hear it. You are a strong muthafucka.
posted by who's that girl @ 2/23/2006 04:05:00 pm
