Friday, December 16

rundgren. a long entry...

as you know, i live my life in song. i walk through each day with a specific soundtrack, something that encompasses what i'm feeling. like, when you were here in september, the soundtrack for that is a combination of "i get around" and "how deep is your love." but when we hooked up on new years, i was listening a lot to "can we still be friends" by todd rundgren, because i was sad--not just because i felt bad about andy, but because i felt like i had fooled myself for a second into thinking you liked me, and i felt like a big asshole about it:

We can't play this game anymore but
Can we still be friends?
Things just can't go on like before but
Can we still be friends?
We had something to learn
Now it's time for the wheel to turn
Grains of sand, one by one
Before you know it, all gone
Let's admit we made a mistake but
Can we still be friends?
Heartbreak's never easy to take but
Can we still be friends?
It's a strange, sad affair
Sometimes seems like we just don't care
Don't waste time feeling hurt
We've been through hell together
Can we still be friends?
Can we still get together sometimes?
Can we still be friends?
You know that life will still go on
We awoke from our dream
Things are not always what they seem
Memories linger on
It's like a sweet, sad, old song
Can we still be friends?
Can we still get together sometimes?
Can we still be friends?
You know that life will still go on
Can we still be friends?
Can we still get together sometimes?
Can we still be friends?
You know that life will still go on

(while searching for lyrics for this song i found out that apparently mandy moore did a cover of this song, which disgusts me, but im also morbidly interested in hearing it...)

Anyway. But I find the two Rundgren songs I've been listening to for the last few days have been "I Don't Want to Tie You Down" and "Be Nice to Me." And now more than ever, they mean a lot to me...

Sometimes it's hard to look up under
The times we're going through
I scratch my head and stare and wonder
How to face the day anew
But it gives my life a bit more meaning
To feel in love with you
So heavy
I don't want to weigh you down
Oh baby
I don't want to tie you down
I don't want a thing to mar this ever
The picture that we make
The balance of our minds together
The perfect give and take
For me to let my love possess you
Would be the worst mistake
I'm sorry
I don't want to bring you down
Oh baby
I don't want to tie you down
Oh Jesus
I don't want to nail you down
Oh baby
I don't want to tie you down

..............................................................................

No catch, no strings
None of the usual things
I'm happy just to lay and look
Let's throw out the book
Now we're off the hook
And please just be nice to me
Won't you be nice to me
So tired, so sad
So sick of being had
By everyone who comes along
Would it be so wrong
If you played along
And please just be nice to me
And would it bring you down if I hang around
Just be nice to me
It's been a long, long time since I felt so fine
And I know your love is fine
I know what's on your mind but
Don't laugh, don't cry
Don't make me wonder why
You're doing what you're doing now
Can't you see somehow
It's the wrong time now
So please just be nice to me
You know I ain't in heat
And it would feel real neat
If you would just be nice to me
Come on think of me

and i love you.